The Emotions and Feelings: Visiting My Grandparents

Visiting my grandparents has become increasingly difficult for me. This weekend I took a trip to North Carolina to visit them. It was my first time seeing the two of them since Christmas Day in 2008. Since the holidays, they have moved from independent senior living housing to more specialized care. I was putting off the visit because I did not want to see what nine months could do.

Currently, my grandparents are cared for in seperate facilities. My grandmother is dealing with dementia while my grandfather is recovering from a recent surgery. They have been married for more than 60 years. After arriving in North Carolina,  I headed to see my grandmother first before her 6pm dinner time. My aunt helped prepare me for the visit by offering encouraging words and love. She knew it would be hard for me to hold back the tears. I tried to be strong and not cry; but I did, and it helped me deal with my emotions. My grandmother didn't notice a tear between the kisses, smiles, laughter, and love. Some days can be worse for patients with dementia but "Gigi" was having a great day. She was calm and seemed so happy to see her oldest grandaughter.

After spending time with Gigi, my aunt and I decided to take her the 2 mile trip to see her husband, my grandfather ("Didi"). As I followed behind in the car, I was unsure how the visit would unfold with my grandfather. Could I bear to see my mentor not his usual self? As we arrived and wheeled Gigi inside his room, the nurse was preparing Didi for a good night's rest. We caught him just before the lights went out. His grunts and facial expressions conveyed the amount of pain he was in. It broke my heart; but when Gigi wheeled to his bedside and he grabbed her hand, I could not help but smile. A symbol of love. A symbol of friendship. A symbol of a marriage that has withstood 60 years. That is what I will remember this Labor Day 2009.

I love you Gigi and Didi. You will always be my heroes....